Question of the century:
How do you handle stress?
Think about it for a minute.
Do you shut down?
Or go into overdrive goingoingoingoingdoingdoingdoingdoing?
Fight with your partner? Or get needy? Both of which are super hawwwt, by the way.
One couple I know is crazy sexual during stress.
They’ll do it 3 or 4 times a day just to calm down and feel connected. In between they fight and pick at each other.
Then they fu*k. Round and round they go.
One couple is asexual during stress.
They both tend to shut down sexually when they’ve got a lot going on. They both have to actively remember to get it on. It isn’t their first line craving.
Most are a mix. One wants sex. The other doesn’t.
The more one pushes, the more the other shuts down.
There is so much pain and hurt feelings that comes along with the mixed sex drive couples.
Especially when the woman is the one who wants it. There are so many expectations around the way “red blooded males” are supposed to act that both parties feel ashamed.
If you and your partner are both the same way, congratu-fucking-lations. Good on you both.
That’s never the case 100% ALL the time.
This mismatch is a teensy bit complicated to solve, but totally figure-out-able.
It comes down to finding a way to connect, comfort and soothe each other without compromising too much or creating more pain.
One night, my lover hit on me and I wasn’t in the mood. Then he rolled away from me to go to sleep and I was pissed. I still wanted to cuddle. I decided he was an insensitive horndog because he only wanted me for s-e-x and didn’t want me any other way.
Looking back, he was probably hurt by my rejection. I’m sure I wasn’t very tender about it because I was mad he had even tried. Fucker. (Said while rolling my eyes at my own closed-mindedness.)
I have a simple framework I use to help women create their life, especially their sex life, into exactly what they want.
What’s your fantasy?
Mmm. Hmmm. I bet it’s a good one.
It’s yours if you want it.
Schedule a time with me for a sample coaching session and I’ll show you how that works and we can talk about what it would look like to work together.