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Let’s have a resolution do over

If you’re like most people, you resolved to change some major behavior starting January 1.

Lose weight.

Stop yelling.

Write every day.

Meditate every morning.

How’s that going for you?

Lost any weight yet?

Yelled at your kids?

Penned your 500 words every day?

Meditating daily?

Let’s have a do over.

#1 and most important: You are not allowed to beat yourself up. Stop it now.

You’ve got to get in touch with your desired feelings first. 

Why do you want to lose weight/meditate/stop yelling?

What will be better for you when you do?

How will you feel when you get there?

Sexy? Confident? Strong? Peaceful?

Start there. Feel good now.

Let yourself feel sexy now. Confident now. Strong now.

You do not have to wait until you get to the promised land of goal completion to feel good. Feel good now. Skip the middle man. That’s the best way to accomplish your goal.

Let yourself feel sexy now. Confident now. Strong now.

How are you more likely to do the work required to lose weight? If you feel confident or if you feel crappy?

If you feel strong now, aren’t you more likely to get out of bed early and lace up your shoes?

What’s in your way?

Make success easy for yourself by removing your obstacles. Imagine yourself doing the work of achieving your goal. What will you look like? Who will you be around? In what ways will your life be different? There may be some things that will be uncomfortable for you even with a positive lifestyle change.

Here’s the money question: What will be worse for you when you accomplish your goal? 

If you’re trying to lose weight, do you imagine you’ll have to give up your favorite foods or spend a bunch of time prepping food?

If you’re trying to meditate daily, do you imagine that sitting still will be boring and uncomfortable?

What are your secret little thoughts about actually doing this thing? Bring them to the light. If you still want to go for it, move on to the next step.

Make a plan

Do your research first.

What’s the best way to lose weight? There are a million approaches. Which one fits your personality and lifestyle?

Same with meditation techniques. What teachers resonate with you? Sitting cross-legged for 20 minutes is only one approach. There are many more that might sound like more fun.

Get a posse

Habit change is way easier with some company. Join a class, gather up some friends, make a public declaration for accountability. Create friendly competition. Declare a sizable donation to a charity you loathe if you don’t follow through.

 

Need some help making it happen? I’m taking a few new clients right now. I’m pretty kickass at helping people get into action. Email me for a free consultation. sarah @sarahwagneryost.com

 

 

 

 

10 Responses to Let’s have a resolution do over

  1. Christie January 13, 2014 at 1:02 pm #

    One of mine is to do less work on the weekends. When I resolve to do this the thing that feels like it’s going to be worse is that my business won’t move forward as fast as it could if I did work more on the weekends. But, I’m not entirely sure this is even true! Because when I don’t work on weekends I have more energy during the week and I feel like I’m a better mom, so all around happier me!

    • Sarah January 15, 2014 at 10:22 am #

      True story! I’ve found that when I impose limits on my time, I get much more done!

  2. Minista Jazz January 14, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

    I love a do over! I am one that will just churn in the defeat forgetting that I can choose new in the moment Thanks for the reminder. I think I should get in contact with you. After my second cup of coffee and bagel on this photo shoot, I am feeling like I need a little more support being my word.

    • Sarah January 15, 2014 at 10:24 am #

      MInista, Oh yeah. Screw the churning. :) I’m going to remember your phrase: choose new. xo

  3. Jocelyn Gordon January 15, 2014 at 9:38 am #

    Get a Posse! This is my number one support system right now. I absolutely require accountability partners because for some reason, I don’t always do the things I say I’m going to do, or want to do. Accountability partners help me stay true to myself especially when the ego wants to lead me astray. Thank you for this post and the great inquiries. Dancing Forward!

    • Sarah January 15, 2014 at 10:24 am #

      Having people makes such a huge difference. I joined a running group this week and when we ran together on Sunday I found that it was about 1,000 times easier to run than it is by myself.

  4. Christine January 15, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    This year I decided not to have any specific resolutions, just continue on the path I’m on, and it feels good! That said, always things that can be better! So in 2014 the plan is to get a steady accountability partner.

    Thanks for adding the “What will be worse for you when you accomplish your goal?” Very important to add in the mix when you want to change!

    PS, Yeah for joining a running group! I thought I hated running and then I started meeting up with this wonderful group and suddenly I found myself laughing, while running at 6 am. Miracles can happen!

    • Sarah January 15, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

      I’m with you Christine. I didn’t make specific resolutions either. But I did find my word for the year (vibrant) and thought about key areas of my life where I can feel more vibrant. Now I make decisions based on what feels vibrant.

      And running WITH people? Vibrant. :)

  5. Cathy Sykora January 15, 2014 at 11:51 am #

    Great idea on the do-over! I think a do-over is a good idea any time I start to stray from my resolutions. You really hit the nail on the head with ceasing to beat yourself up! It is easy to get the idea that if you step off course a little, the whole path is gone, when in reality, it’s not the case at all. I also like how you suggest really diving in to why it is a goal and what may be an uncomfortable outcome of reaching that goal. That is usually why we stand in our own way. Thank you for sharing this!

    • Sarah January 15, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

      Yep. That uncomfortable outcome is exactly what we need to look at. It’s so easy to look at what will be awesome, but that’s not what motivates us usually. xo

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