Here’s the worst: when you want to do it and he doesn’t.
Not just here and there–but over and over again. For weeks! Months! Years! FOREVER!
It is so painful. So easy to take it personally.
What’s tough is that it seems like your sex life is in someone else’s hands. It’s such a powerless feeling. In order to maintain monogamy, which most of my clients want to do, they can’t have sex at all if he doesn’t want to.
For them, Monogamy is really celibacy.
One person cannot dictate another person’s sex life: You can’t decide not to have sex and therefore force your partner not to.
You also can’t decide you want a lot of sex and force your partner to join you.
My clients ask these questions looking for what’s wrong with them:
Am I too fat?
Do I stink?
Maybe I’m a bad lover? Too vanilla? Or too slutty?
They ask these about him looking for what’s wrong with him:
Is he gay?
Having an affair?
Spending all his sexy time online?
Sometimes the reason why is just a case of mismatched libido. One partner just wants it more than the other.
Sometimes the answer is yes. Something deeper really is going on.
This is so crazy common. Word on the street is, men are the horndogs. Watch any sitcom and you’ll see what I mean. He wants to; she has a headache.
I see the opposite all the time. There’s so much shame for both sexes. Men feel ashamed because they believe their virility is compromised. Women feel shame because women aren’t supposed to think sex is that important.
Oh, girl. It’s important–if it’s important to you. God gave us an organ that has no biological purpose other than pleasure. There are 8,000 nerve endings in your clit. All designed to make you feel amazing.
I promise you: If you want it more than he does, you can still be super happy and satisfied. I’ll show you how.
I promise you: If you want it more–even if he doesn’t want it at all–you can still be super happy and satisfied. I’ll show you how.
I can’t promise to get you laid–but you’re also not getting you laid.
I can promise to show you how to be whole, happy and orgasmically satisfied.
With or without his cooperation.