Gina and Dan hadn’t had sex in she didn’t even know how long.
When he reached for her, she shrugged him off.
Or she pretended she was sleeping.
Sometimes she tried to get in the mood but couldn’t get very far. She wanted to squeeze her legs together as tightly as possible.
She didn’t feel safe with him because she never knew what the rules were.
He might be tender and loving. Or he could be withdrawn and distant, hyperfocusing on all of her mistakes.
When she said no to sex, he said she didn’t care about him.
He said everyone else came before him.
That if she cared, she would want to do it.
As if criticizing her was going to change her mind.
When he complained about it, she shut down.
She told me she wanted to learn to communicate with him better. She thought she could get him to be nicer if she said just the right thing to make him listen.
The pressure of believing she should want to have sex was wearing on her. She used to like it-they had plenty of very hot moments in the past. Not anymore.
She felt guilty. Her mom had told her the day of her wedding that if she didn’t keep him happy, he would find someone who would.
The more she said no, the more he complained. The more he complained, the less she wanted to.
They were caught in a vicious cycle of blame and hurt feelings.
I did teach her how to communicate more effectively. I didn’t exactly give her the script she begged for.
Instead, we worked together to identify the exact reasons she reacted the way she did. (Hint: it was not because of his complaining.) Then she was able to identify exactly what would help her be more confident, loving and easy going.
Finding the exact cause is so powerful. It gives you change for a lifetime, not a conversation.
When you focus on just 2 or 3 simple things, everything changes.
It takes one person to change a relationship.
Even if he’s not interested in personal growth, your relationship can grow.
Whether he is willing to see his part or apologize doesn’t even matter.
You can have the understanding and appreciation you crave.
Would you like to see how this works in real life?
I’m scheduling free conversations this week.
You don’t have to worry about a hard sell.
I want to talk to you one-on-one and show you how this works. I know that if it makes sense to you, you’ll feel better pretty immediately.
When you feel better you can fix your marriage problems a lot easier.
If you feel sad when you think about leaving, this will help. You can feel hopeful about your marriage when you know what you need to do to make it work.
I know that if the solution I have for you works, you’ll want to keep working with me so you can have a better marriage.
If you don’t think it will work, you’ll choose another solution.
No big deal.
I feel grateful every single day for the coaching work I do with women.
I felt overwhelmed, under appreciated, and lonely so often before I applied the things I’ll show you.
I am very literally a different woman with different responses. I say and do things I never believed possible.
I want you to have that too.
Like I said, no hard sell. Just schedule an appointment here. You pick a time in the next few days that works for you and we’ll go from there.
p.s. In case you scrolled to the bottom of this post right away, here’s the deal.
You don’t have to feel unloved and unappreciated in your relationship any longer. A couple tweaks is all you need. I’m taking on 3 private clients and so I want to talk to women who are ready to try something new to have a better relationship.
Click here to schedule a conversation where I’ll show you how to make a few simple changes and you can decide if you want to experience more coaching after that.